What is your thesis? How did this particular argument come about?

My thesis is the root of violence among teens goes deeper than the media, its embedded in the violence or bulleying they endure throughout adolescence. We should dig deeper passed the violence in video games. I use support from crime statistics from pbs.

This argument came about actually when we were discussing the arguments in class, Trey used this as an example and I kind of stole it because I feel strongly that video game violence is just a scapegoat to cover up bulleying in school.

__Who's your audience and what techniques do you use to make your writing speak to their concerns and interests__?

My audience is everyone. Mostly people who are on the fence about the outcome of video game violence among youth. I wish to persuade the ones who feel violent games are to blame. As you read you can conclude that violence is beyond a Grand Theft Auto Game.

Upon reviewing your completed composition (and process), what aspect of your work (or it's process) most surprised you?

Honestly, I was nervous about looking up crime statistics to enhance my paper because due to violent acts such as Virginia Tech, I thought maybe that sparked more violent acts to take place among youth, however, as of 2007, the crime rate is down 30% among teens up to 19 years of age.

I thought this was great :) and I was really excited to use it because the statistic really backed up my argument. it was a strong jumping off point.

Did you learn anything new while growing your composition? Explain.

I didn't learn anything new that surprised me. I've written a paper on violence my freshmen year in high school so I was familiar with my argument. However, I did still have to read about updated crime statistics and update the work I've previously researched.

When you use secondary sources, do those sources contribute to ethos, logos, or pathos appeals?

They appealed to what I researched and how I used it to enhance my argument. Especially logos.

When considering peer feedback as you revised your rough draft, which advice/suggestion/question/criticism/edit was most useful/helpful?

It was nice to have Morgan comment and say she was 50/50 on the subject and I took her comments into consideration to better enhance and clean up every pointI was trying to make. And also thankyou Jesse for suggesting movies, I have seen Bowling for Columbine in highschool, and I do feel I could use it to my benfit to better my essays argument, maybe by quoting Michael Moore's opinion on the matter.

On your final version, where would you like to see the most feedback and attention from graders?

Hepful comments, no bashing that ridcules my paper and gets me nowhere. Constructive criticism is always appreciated. :)