“Ok I’m going to do it, just close my eyes and grit my teeth and do it,” I said to myself just before I slowly pushed open the heavy moaning door of the changing room after walking down the long, compact hall walk with nothing more than baren white walls. My pace was slow because all of my energy is being used by my racing heart and there was very little left to move my legs. I tossed my heavy bag on the uncomfortable metal bench that inhabited this room full of dull rusted lockers, broken water pipes, and filthy rodents. My chest rose and fell slowly as I grabbed my suit and towel out of my bag that felt like thousands of cinderblocks on my back that were weighing me down. I walked behind the wall to the showers and changing rooms where none of the showerheads were on the wall and the no doors were left on their hinges. I chose the changing room in the back corner and began to undress as I thought to myself, “I can do this; I can do this.”

I walked slowly back to my bag and tossed it in a poor excuse for a locker and started my walk to the plunge. I found myself faced with the most terrifying plain metal door that might as well have been pointing a gun in my face as far as my heart was concerned. Thump thump thump went the artery in my neck as I worked up the force to push this horribly scary door out of my way and continue my journey to the high dive. I filled my lungs with as much air as I could and shoved the door out of my way. The view was far from beautiful, the pool was nothing more than a cement hole in the ground filled with green water, surrounding this pool were hard wooden rotted lawn chairs that appeared unable to hold more than a piece of paper without crumbling under the weight. The pool area was complete empty, I was alone to face my fear of the fifteen foot high dive that had made its home in so many men’s dreams, but there was also no one to tell me no. I found a place for my towel and started my climb up the ladder of the high dive as I continued to tell myself, "You can do this, it's time. Don't be scared; everything will be fine." Each bar was corroded with gapping rusty holes cause by years of neglect, because no man would want to take care of this horrifying ladder and would rather it not even exist. The bars felt as if they were going to snap underneath the grasp of my hands and cease to support my feet below. The board appeared to be my horizon, I could see it, but couldn't reach it. The climb seemed to never end.

The climb was nearly over as I paused and looked over to my left and finally noticed the palm trees surrounding the pool and the squirrels running around playing tag. This presence of joy by the pool gave me the energy to finish my climb and reach my horizon. I lifted myself on the board and took a seat at the base while i tried to take in my view and make my finally decision about the plunge. There were new pvc pipe tables with beautiful flower chairs and beach volleyball courts in the distance it was gorgeous, but the pool was still the same terrifying green and it seemed to be a miracle that i had not broken this ancient diving board that had held men with my same decision at hand for centuries. I continued to wonder whether I should take the jump and if I could even find the strength to jump. I stood up and started pacing back and forth on the board while I racked my brain, “Is it too soon? Is it worth it? Should I wait a few more months? I’m too young. This is crazy. But I really do want to and I’ve waited a long time to do this.” And then all of a sudden with a jolt of adrenaline causing my heart to race hard than ever before I ran down the diving board and dove head first in. It seemed like no time at all before I hit the water sending it flying all over the patio area and then I was at the bottom by the drain just waiting with my eyes shut tightly waiting for a someone to tell I could come back up. I was quickly running out air when I heard a whisper in my, “Yes.” That one little word gave me the strength to fly up to the surface and when I opened my eyes she was there. Her shoulder-lengthen brown hair, that she tried so hard every morning to keep straightened, was dripping wet in curls and her dark brown misty eyes were fixed in mine, I wasn't sure whether the mist was because of the chemicals in the pool or because she was crying i was hoping for the latter. She had never looked so beautiful. Once her soft lips touched mine and my whole world started to spin and the only thing I could notice was her. I had done it, I had taken the plunge and survived.

We swam over to the shallow end and walked out of the sand bottom pool hand in hand. We walked over and layed down in a lounge chair with her head resting gently on my chest and our arms wrapped around each other. The world around us was finally perfect and my heart was now at ease because I was now forever unity to the love of my life.

original